After Circuit City filed bankruptcy in the fall 2008, Chad's business fell apart right along with it (Circuit City was his largest client). And so began a new season for our family...a season marked with uncertainty, of humility, of character building. It was a devastating blow, especially for Chad. His identity was wrapped up in being the owner of a successful business he started in his twenty's, an entrepreneur, a leader, respected and perhaps even admired. Stripped of all this, what could possibly be in store? Who would he become?
Three years later, he has become more compassionate, grown in discernment and wisdom, learned patience and self-control, persevered against tribulation...you know all that good stuff mentioned in the Bible that comes from hardship. He has become more of the man God designed him to be in this world. A funny thing happens when earthly comforts and provisions are taken away. It is almost like becoming blind. We are not able to perceive our present clearly or foresee what our future entails (as if anyone really knows this anyhow). Everything becomes blurry and unsure. The way we saw it, we had two options:
1. Trust that good can come of bad and continue on life's journey with the Savior we professed.
2. Blame God for our misfortune and continue on our own.
#2 scares the daylights out of us, so we set our hearts and minds on #1. We chose to be led by something greater than ourselves. It was such a comfort to us knowing that we didn't have it all figured out. We didn't know how to keep the sinking ship afloat, but a few short years prior, we had become acquainted with Someone who did know. We had graduated, and it was time for us to put all that we had learned into practice. The endless questions about things we foolishly thought were a guarantee in our lives ensued:
Do we stay where we are now? Do we move back home? Where will we live? What are we going to do for an income? Have we really become part of the legions of people in America that all the reporters are talking about on the evening news...the latest victims of the economic recession? Are we really going to have to move in with Chad's parents? Ugh, we are almost thirty! We have a kid!
This week I am reflecting on all the heaviness of our trial over the past few years. Honestly, we've grown accustomed to "the trial," we even expect it, and crazy as it sounds, we welcome it. The trial demands complete dependence, trust and faith. We've found that it is actually a really beautiful thing. Without it, we are treading in dangerous waters. Murky waters where self-reliance, entitlement, and pride lurk underneath the opaque, seemingly still surface. It has brought us to a place where, if there is a choice to be made, we are finding it best to choose the option with the least amount of certainty, comfort or control. Yes, there is more risk involved, but there is certainty in placing our trust in something greater than ourselves who has proven Himself time and time again to have our best interests at heart. We are learning to choose the option that gives God more room to work. The option that requires us to be "sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" - faith.
This is Chad's tough game face, by the way:
(Tough Mudder 2011)
A new season is upon us yet again. This week, Chad starts a new job...a job that will highlight his giftings and talents. A job that he is excited about and brings with it opportunity to grow and develop. A job that requests a little risk.
The lessons we have learned will not soon fade away. They were lessons learned with great sacrifice. They are written on our hearts, as are the promises God gave us along the way about who He is; how he loves us; promises of redemption, restoration and renewal.
I am thankful for the grace that is given as we clumsily persevere (it isn't pretty at times). I am thankful for this man who I have the blessing of persevering with in life's trials. I am so proud of you, dear husband; faithful friend. Thank you for all you do for our family. You love us so well. There is great reason to believe that many blessings are in store for you professionally...blessings of redemption, restoration and renewal. I love you.
